Sunday, May 4, 2008
Finally Warm Weather
It was up to 70 today. Paige got a little too much sun on her arms. At least I remembered to do sunsreen on their faces. We spent most of yesterday at Baseball Games and we went to one today too. It's nice because Micah's there and we get to see him all day. I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. Just when I get a minute to stop and think, which isn't often. :) Micah has been a great support for me in regards to dealing with losing Gram. Today we talked about when thinking about that person will slow down a bit. Right now she pops into my head about every twenty to thirty minutes. It doesn't help that there are so many things in our home and surrounding us that remind me of her. Some people have said the pain never goes away, some have said it gets better. Most have said it's different for everyone. I feel so selfish wanting her here again, knowing she was so tired and uncomfortable the last year, but I can't help it. She was the greatest person to talk to. You can't replace that. I'm struggling with that void. Sometimes I feel like I'm just feeling sorry for myself and need to get over it. I know it will be ok someday, it just stinks now. I'm so lucky to have Micah and Paige and Emma and Jake and all of the family and friends that have been there for us. Thanks and sorry about the sappy post.
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4 comments:
Hi Gretta,
I am a good friend of Kelly Hutcheson's...she sent me this post knowing I could relate. I lived with my grandparents during college and my grandma meant the world to me. When she died, I wanted the world to stop and had a hard time when it didn't. I can so relate and am so sorry for your pain. Now, I have SUCH a peace knowing my grandma watches over me, and I know she's watches over my daughter too. Thinking of you!
~Kelle
I don't agree that this is a 'soppy post' !
I had the pleasure to meet your Grandmother and can understand what a powerful presence she had.
You have every right to grieve, it's not 'soppy' in the slightest.
Best wishes,
Rob
x
Hey Gretch, So sorry to hear about your Grandma. I hope that every day gets a little easier for you. You have so many great memories--I bet some day they will make you smile again instead of bringing tears to your eyes. Love you :)
I think about her all the time too. It's only been two weeks, give yourself time.
We were lucky to have her in our lives all the time when we were kids, and she became very important to us. When I think about all the special times we shared it makes me sad that we won't have those times anymore...but I force myself to remember that she is free now.
The thing that I am most grateful for is being able to know that kind of happiness and love. We will pass that on to our children (and grandchildren) and they will feel the same way about us. Isn't that a good feeling?
P.S. When I get really sad, I think about that video of her on the beach. I think about her in that playful happiness and I want to believe that is how can be now.
Love,
Heath
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